Dear diary- The List

Dear Diary, 

       I just got a job in a reputable company, they now call me a big girl. They don’t understand that it’s just the name of the company that’s selling me for now. I am far from the big girl status. But diary the thing on my mind in recent times is this rave about marraige. I no longer have a suitable excuse to give people when they ask where my boyfriend is, you know before I used to say it’s career before relationship but now what do I say. I always had the fantasy of having a certain amount of money in my account before meeting the “guy” but now it seems “age” is not on my side. 

Whenever I say I would like to adopt they will start shouting, God forbid! It’s not your portion! Like its a bad thing. I was gisting my colleague about how the rate of people getting married was affecting my normal nonchalant attitude towards marraige. And she asked me if I had a list of what I’d like to have  in my mind, I said not really. Now I have decided to write down my “list” and see how realistic it is. 

  1. He should be Tall dark and handsome, yah I know I’m dark as I should think of my babies, but there are very cute dark babies out there, how about that melanin popping family huh? Besides the heart wants what the heart wants.
  2. He must be into fitness, I love fitness, yh yh I know I love junk foods and stuff but I also love the gym, so dude should love the gym as well. Although I have noticed that some gym guys tend to be f***boys. Oh well, I still want a fit bod.
  3. He must be a god fearing spiritual guy. Someone that can pray with me and see it as a cool thing to do.
  4. He should have a good job, with an ambition that shames mine. Something about a guy that knows what he wants and is already walking towards it. 
  5. Not a mama’s boy, nothing I dislike more than a guy that would cherish his mothers opinion above mine! That’s an absolute no no!
  6. Jovial, funny, sensitive yet manly, I know there are guys out there like this, there must be right?!
  7. A helper, I won’t be needing a man that doesn’t know his way around a kitchen or a market! Like please what is his usefulness to me in my lazy days.
  8. A feminist. A guy who knows that his woman is his helper not his slave or house keeper. And he also knows that I have my dreams and aspirations and won’t be a hindrance to them, but would rather work with me to achieve them.
  9. A patient and indulging guy because I know I have wahala sha sha, so I can’t be doing gra gra and him too will be doing it with me, like Oga don’t be childish! Stop copying.
  10. A guys that is adventurous yet mature. I don’t want all those funny ‘let’s dance in the rain’ spur of the moment kind of adventure , no thank you! Please not interested.
  11. The ultimate deal breaker is his aura, he has to have good dentition, good diction, smell really nice I always want to lean in and sniff him, and then walk well, in a cool confident   way.
  12. Must be an intellectual guy.who can hold a conversation from makeup,to football, to politics, to religion, to current affairs. 
  13. Should have hismalepride yes, but willing to learn 

Diary it’s not as if I don’t have more things I want to write down oh, but these ones are my mental lists written down. What do you think, is it realistic? Am I asking for too much? Do you think that’s what is making me still single? Does this in anyway make me vain or not ready? This isn’t too much to ask now is it?

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